SEEN
The last strains of sunlight lingered in the corners, grasping every available point of refraction. She slid her fingertips along the glass wondering if this was all there ever was. Or could be. Her salt-sting, demeaning husband never seemed to see her anymore. Today, she knew, he would. Unlatching the third story window, Jane Parker stepped onto its edge and triumphantly threw herself into the dying sunset.
~*~
Picture “lonely silence 2″ shamelessly stolen from ~nerysoul on deviantart http://nerysoul.deviantart.com/art/lonely-silence2-142920557
Okay that was far more depressing than I intended. But the original prompt was this weekend’s Trifextra challenge: add 33 words of your own to this:
“The last strains of sunlight lingered in the corners, grasping every available point of refraction. She slid her fingertips along the glass wondering if this was all there ever was. Or could be.”
I didn’t quote it above, because I wanted it to just flow as one story.
I’ll have you know I toyed with a post-apocalyptic London and a zombie thriller before deciding on this ending!! I think the poor character was better off with this one…
Apologies to anyone that actually has the name of Jane Parker. No resemblance intended.
Enjoy!
JMS
Very creative. Gasp.
on that note – I can’t say more.
Haha, thank you, I think?
oh wow! how sad
she should have left and found someone worth her notice rather than strive for his!
And THAT is the moral of the story! haha, sadly I know there are far too many people in the world that suffer from depression, and sometimes it won’t let you see the other options. OOO, double meaning for Seen…hmm..
Beautifully done. Perfect imagery.
Kelly, you are awesome. Thanks.
No need for explanation. It stands on its own and very well. It’s so difficult to see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. Easier to see the end of a tough time. I like the word triumphantly, as if she finally found peace.
She did indeed, I think.
Thanks, I liked “triumphantly” too.
So sad! That is such a desperate act.
Powerful imagery and emotion.
Wow, thanks!
Very pictive and dramatic.
Thanks, Weissdorn!
This is pretty grim. If this the best ending for Jane, I’m glad you chose this story. Very well done!
Walking out to her zombie husband would have been lame, and having her consumed by a fireball consuming London seemed terribly painful so…yes, this was the best ending. Thank you!
Well, maybe she’ll reconsider?
Terribly grim to reply this now but they say people realize about halfway down on the jump it’s a bad idea…
…actually I got that from Robin Williams, I have no idea if it’s true!
Wow! You took my breath away with that ending! Nicely done! So sad, though.
I wish she had pushed him out the window instead! Maybe one day someone will.
Seriously excellent piece!
-Peace and light,
Amy @BettyRants
I may have to write a sequel: The end of Henry. Haha, thank you!
Powerful.
Awesome photo, dude, I don’t care if you stole it. And grim and gripping entry. LOVED it! That will show him. “Salt-sting” was brilliant! I post on here as “dunce two,” but it wouldn’t let me log in except through Facebook. But I had to comment. Winning stuff! Cheers!
I will look you up! Thank you very much for the encouragement. “Salt-sting” was one of those things that kept replaying over and over in my head until I had to just DO it and write it in there somehow! Cheers!
Ooo, a dark take on the prompt! The only thing I would have done differently is to have her actually break the glass on the way out.
Poor Jane, such a shame that was the only way to get him to notice her. Great jpb with the prompt.
This took my breath and made me smile. weird? Very well written and emotionallyass kicking. loved it
Ha, thanks Lance! No, not weird, considering we both listen to VAST… somehow that explains a lot, not sure how but it does. Thanks.
This was very well done. powerful emotion.